"Mean" girls lose

Quote of the day: "The bad news is time flies. The good news is you’re the pilot.”
--Michael Altshuler, personal achievement coach

This quote reminds me that there may be all kinds of negativity around me and how I respond to it is how it will affect my life. There is a lot of power in this realization.

Just this morning a parent was telling me how her 15 year old is trying to deal with other girls nastiness toward her. This is a very common complaint and excruciating to the girl. How to help? Understanding why this happens is a start. Aggression is a given as children reach adolescence, but boys and girls show it differently. Boys act it out through physical ways that are endlessly available to them, i.e. sports, shoving, even aggressive video games. Girls use some of those methods but not as much; their aggression shows up in relationships. Both genders are trying to find out who they are and where they stand in respect to their peers.

My advice to is, when someone says something mean, don’t engage, which is really hard to do when you feel compelled to defend yourself, but anything else only gives the meany more power. Not engaging can mean walking away; yes, the “meany” and friends will probably laugh but that is just empty air. Inside they may feel ashamed on some level—as they should. If you must say something, make it short such as, “that’s mean.” Then walk away.

Please email other suggestions to cchristopher@studydepot.com